10 rules dating my daughter joke
10 rules dating my daughter joke
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Places where there is darkness are not even an option.
The same goes for your wandering eyes, if they go anywhere below eye level I will ask you to leave the premises as soon as possible, if you do not comply I will take action that I feel is necessary (i.e. Rule #3 I am aware that the so-called latest fashion trends mean that you wear your jeans several sizes too big so that your underwear shows or that you wear jeans known as "girl pants" for boys that are so tight they contour every area of your lower extremities and also expose your underwear.
Please don't be embarrassed but you look ridiculous and so do your friends.
If you think that you will have opportunities to explore your sexual activity with my daughter you will find out that I will be the only type of birth control that you will need.
There will be no text messaging, video chatting; late night cell phone calls either because I will be watching…everything.
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you? You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is ? Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.Rule #6 If you plan on dating other girls besides my daughter make sure that you have told her and that she is okay with this.If she is not okay with this and you make her upset, I will have to find several new methods to make you upset as well.Rule #4 In today’s world, sexual activity among young people is becoming rather common place.Just because this is a commonality does not mean that it will be happening with my daughter. Actually, before you answer that you need to read over my ten simple rules to date her, sign your life away (just technicalities), as well as give some samples of your DNA for future use, if necessary.