12 step dating
12 step dating
Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. So what are your thought on dating someone who's in AA or NA or some sort of 12-step recovery program? You have to decide, if you drink, about what you shall do in that situation. If you don't drink, they may be the one who deserves a chance.
As some have said - all depends on "where they are at" in a 12 step program.
It seems elitist of me, but those at the top of my food chain are those that aren't of the 12 Step sort.
Most have "bad" pasts, and have made many a mistake, and have been down and out frequently..they are without addictions so paramount as to have the need or necessity for a 12 Step.
You also have to be able to refrain from "managing" the addict and their recovery process.
This is a hard one for co-dependents, but you must be able to let the addict manage their own recovery.
If you are seriously dating someone in an organized recovery program, you need to be able to support meeting attendence (including closed meetings) and other related events.
If you need to make changes in your own life, be sure you are doing it for you and not for the person in recovery.
Also, you need to not use backsliding as an excuse for drama.
Once I went to a AA meeting with a friend,she was an alcoholic she drinks /7 after work and she drink tooo much when we go night clubbings, but she won't admit it, (she was jailed for DUI/paid fine and did community work ) she wants some one to go with her so she entice me with "There are lots of men there ,maybe we will find our true love there", so I went with her and I find those men makes me decide to be single for the rest of my life and not mess up with men LOL.
I don't wanna live my life like that, always having to wonder that. I applaud them for taking appropriate steps to try and remedy their lives..I don't consider any one of them date worthy. Someone told me that they didn't want to feel guilty when they had few (really half a dozen) beers when they fell off the wagon.
They compared it to how I would feel guilty if I stopped taking my meds and took them again. Going to a doctor and being monitored is not the same as drinking alcohol.
I know for me, these types and myself are never a good match so I wouldn't bother investing time into anything beyond a friendship at most.