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It’s like keeping guns in a cabinet—the lock exists to protect innocents who might be curious about something that could destroy their lives. Being Stingy With Your Apologies It seems that some parents are a little like 3-year-olds and believe an honest, sincere, “I’m sorry” will cost them money, pride or status.Every time you yell at your kids or unjustifiably punish them, you’re placing a brick in a wall between you.
It’s not that I don’t trust my kids, it’s simply that I know pornography is readily available and especially tempting when kids are tired, lonely or bored.The good news: most teenagers are very forgiving of parental missteps; they recognize their own faults and readily forgive others’.Even better, in a healthy relationship, teenagers love you for who you are.Unless there’s a fire, let’s give kids the same respect for their time we’d want for our own. Maintaining Constant Suspicion When we expect the worst of people, they usually comply.Yes, parents should be cautious and careful; we should all know the signs of depression, drug abuse, alcoholism, promiscuity etc.As one boy told Hans, “My parents’ house is just a place to sleep; why would I want to be in a place where everything I do is wrong? Stereotyping Their Behavior “Teenagers are all crazy/selfish/irresponsible/lazy.” Somehow, it’s socially acceptable to belittle teenagers.
Yes, there’s that whole brain development thing going on, but most of the teenagers I know are doing an incredible job at managing complicated lives.
But if parents create an environment of rigid rules, suspicion and distrust, kids are drawn to dangerous behaviors.
Parents can keep safeguards in place without destroying relationships.
They act like it’s normal to talk about how their kids have ruined their lives.
More often than not, their child is listening to this barrage of insults.
I see kids putting in hundreds of hours in service, playing instruments, creating computer apps, juggling AP classes, playing sports, performing in plays and dance…all while working a part-time job, nurturing their sibling and doing the dishes at night.