Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. (Sign up below to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Dealing with #Me Too as a survivor: I don’t know how to deal with #Me Too as a rape survivor. Social media is a big part of my job, so I can’t just turn it off all day, but I’m not sure what to do.I keep finding myself going to the bathroom and sobbing.
It’s profoundly important to both engage with big-picture issues like disaster relief, and it’s also true that everyone needs help dealing with co-workers, relatives, their own feelings, and petty annoyances.I just want to tell people to get over themselves and be happy and grateful that the only problems they are facing are those.They have food, water, and a warm and dry place to sleep. I know that we’ll get through this and the petty stuff will again be important someday, but right now reading some of the questions in your column just makes me want to punch people. A: I’m so sorry to hear about the destruction to your home, and I’m glad to hear that your son is somewhere safe.I’d been taught that this was the “polite” thing to do, but it feels disingenuous now that I no longer subscribe to any religion.I’m sure the grievers don’t notice or care either way, but should I continue to fake pray?My boss posted on our Facebook page about how “proud” he was of all the women who’ve been sharing their stories and I almost lost it.
I haven’t talked to many people about what happened to me, including several members of my family, and I don’t want to “come out” as a survivor through a hashtag. I want to tell people that survivors don’t owe them their stories.
I hope very much that you are able to access all the help that you need to rebuild.
This may sound flippant, but I can assure you that I mean this sincerely: If reading the column right now makes you want to punch people, give yourself the gift of taking a break from reading this column!
I don’t want people to come away from this display of mutual pain and think that by posting a hashtag, they’ve done enough.
I’m feeling really grossed out by all of the men who seem to have never realized that this was a thing until now.
If absolutely nothing else, I hope you know that you do not ever have to share your story unless you feel safe and comfortable doing so, and .