Korean dating etiquette
Korean dating etiquette
They'll refill your drink before you even get to the bottom, notice if you shiver or seem uncomfortable in your seat, and immediately do something to rectify the situation. They generally have an appreciation for that that I've rarely seen matched in any other culture. A personal expression, a little effort here or there. At the end of the day, I will always take the ordinary looking guy who can keep my interest in conversation over the tall, dark and handsome mister in a suit who bores me to absolute tears when he opens his mouth.
And, while I have my struggles with that as an American, I appreciate that it means that someone doesn't always have to agree with you or have the same feelings as you to take your feelings into account.
Because men are men, before they are any sub-category there within, right? When you look at normal everyday life in Korean dating culture and put it up against normal everyday life in Western dating culture, in general, Korean men tend to move a lot more slowly. There isn't pressure to get right into the bedroom to make it clear that everyone is really attracted to everyone else, and then try to sort out the aftermath after the fact. This goes back to my ideals being a hell of a lot less modest than my personal life actually is, most of the time. I'll give you two, and then I'll hit on my last two, my favorites..
You can take your time, and it doesn't become an issue. I certainly don't think that getting physical right of the bat removes the possibility for a long-term, healthy relationship, but I prefer, basically, to take the long way around, when I'm dealing with something serious. I don't like that this is the way I've become, but it is.
For the most part, with a Korean man, you know exactly where you stand.
They aren't, generally, good at being "just friends" with women, and they'll make no qualms about making it known when they're interested, in general.
They're not super defensive about having an interest in a girl -- it's only natural. For me, there is a time and a place for everything, and, excepting the extremely rare night out with one too many jack cokes, for me the place for playing tonsil hockey is not the bar, the street corner, the coffee shop or the restaurant. They don't speak for the whole, majority population.
I don't have a problem in the world with the fact that Korean culture outlaws this behavior. And I appreciate that I no longer have to have bitchy little arguments about how I'm "ashamed" or what have you with significant others because I don't want his hand on my ass in the parking lot. They are not looking for the same things as the men you encounter in your daily life -- the ones you meet at work, in the bookstore or at the coffee shop. I guess that I'm just trying to clarify that this one is dependent upon the kind of situation you're dealing with, just as it would be in the West, and not give the impression that Korean men are all sexless saints.
And you can be damn sure no Korean guy is going to be showing up to a date in sweatpants without a fresh shave. And that is so fucking important when you're looking at getting involved in a relationship with someone.
In general, because of the communal aspect of Korean society, I have found Korean men to be far more willing to listen to your point of view, or even accept things that they don't even understand, because they see that in some way something is making you unhappy or uncomfortable.
That they'll scream and shout at each other in that way that only Korean men can sound.
That they'll respond to any compliment about how big, strong, tall or tough they are as though you've just given them the best Christmas present ever. I like that both sides are present and readily visible. I hate it as much as I appreciate it, to be honest, sometimes more on certain days.
But I appreciate a well-dressed man with a nice haircut as much as the next girl. I don't like that a grown ass man has a curfew and has to scurry home before a certain hour or else face his mother's wrath. At the end of the day, the most important thing to me is my family. When I see a man put aside his own desires in order to take care of his family, I feel like I am really looking at A Man.